Tuesday, May 27, 2008

I Bet Emer Can Command the English Language

There are several words in the English language that make women squirm. "Moist" is at the top of that list, followed by "Panties" and "Lover." Being a dude, I really don't understand why these words are anathema, but I've been told several times by many different ladies never to use those words. Ever. However, I bet Emer could string those words into a sentence that included the phrase "Moist lover panties" which would have the fairer sex swooning. Such is his command of the language.

Emer Sighting on 18th Street

I spotted Emer strolling down 18th street, cell phone in hand, and owning the sidewalk. Look. This is New York City. There are like Millions and Millions of people in this city, plus annoying tourists, yet they've cleared out to let Emer pass. He's like frickin' Moses parting the Red sea, except he's not Jewish, and instead of water it's people that have parted, and instead of a staff he's got a cell phone. Emer definitely has god on his side. Look out Satan! Emer's got your number.

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Emer Sighting With Mary Jane's Last Dance

Emer proves that chivalry is not dead, just mortally wounded (or has blisters) in what has to be the strangest twist on Cinderella and Prince Charming ever. Here's Emer helping a lass change out of her $200 leather Mary Jane's into a pair of five buck flip-flops so she can walk the streets at night.

Well, if the shoe fits...

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

I wonder what Emer Likes to Drink

Evidently its whisky and ginger ale. Look at it. Doesn't it look nice? Man, I wish whatever I was drinking looked as good, delicious and beautiful as this, but no... I wanted a Stella and my beer looks like crap next to this awesome concoction. Emer so knows what he's doing; so if you're at a bar with him and ordering a drink, just say
"I'll have what he's having."

Emer Sighting at Longitude, or was it Lattitude. I can't Remember Because I'm Drunk and Should Be Furious

As it turns out, Emer's sexiness is so powerful that even my gf can't resist him (I should have known). Look at her!!! She can't but help but show Emer her love right in front of me (can you blame her?). Stupid Sexy Flounders. If you weren't so sexy I'd stop bloggin about you now. But somehow... I... Can't... Stop.

Friday, May 9, 2008

A Friday Night Without the Flounders is not a Friday Night at All

So I sit, home, alone, by myself, without anyone else around tonight and wonder aloud to myself "I wonder what Emer is up to?" And then I know in my heart of hearts that he's not home like me -- he's out having a wonderful time, chatting up the ladies at the latest hot spot, drinking fine Belgian ales that taste better to him than they do to the rest of us mortals merely because its in his hand. Stupid Sexy Flounders. I'm going to go to bed now and bite my pillow. Sigh.

Emer Sighting at Local Watering Hole

Thursday night Emer was at The Watering Hole in Union Square and there is no denying the fact that the man is a babe magnet. Just look at how this hot chick feels drawn to touch Emer. She tried to pull away, but her hand was polarized and they had to get a hack saw when it was finally time for her to leave. Don't worry, she's out of the hospital now and adjusting to life with a prosthetic limb. If you see a hump under Emer's jacket, well, you can guess what that is.

Emer Sighting at Fancy Paris Review Party

Emer was the man of the night on Tuesday, even though he was throwing a party for Hungarian author Gregory Dragoman at the Paris Review offices in Soho. Just look at how happy these people are to be seen with Emer. Can you blame them? I wish I was in this photo. Then maybe my life wouldn't be as miserable as it is right now.

Thursday, May 8, 2008

Inaugural Post of Stupid Sexy Flounders

Emer Flounders: publicist, honcho, lady killer, man-about-town.
This site is dedicated to him and his many exploits.